Wednesday's Quote Of The Day

"OH MY GOD, is that a black card?" I turned around and replied,"why yes, but I prefer the term African American Express" - Kanye West

*Blank Stare*

Now that the New Year is about to come in are people starting to get all mushy thinking about the past, looking to mend things that have been broken or something?  I was having a BBM convo with "her" and my phone rings. I didn't think twice, I just answered and the voice I heard made me completely silent.... 


Me: Who Is this?
Her: Your late Christmas present
Me: *Silent Blank Stare*


Exactly a year ago I was stuck in a horrible life involved with her. Why the fuck does she still have my #? I have chomped her off previously for contacting me and acting as if we are best of friends and everything is kool. Its funny how people take advantage of you when you care and they don't give fuck, as soon as the well runs dry muthafuckas start seeing shit. Anyway, I despise her and I  wanted to go off on her but I'm trying not to live in the past anymore. It only adds to my emotional basketcase-ness LOL.  I let her talk, mostly to herself, silent treatment is the way to go! I think she got the message but I know she will call again cause I have wrote her off before. *sigh* I'm getting my # changed very soon so I will loose that headache myself. 


P.S. OH IF I DON'T BLOG AGAIN, BEFORE JAN 1ST

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010: Stronger With Every Tear

I haven't been in much of a blogging mood recently. Its the holidays and for the 1st time in 4yrs, I have been single. I'm wishing for the new year to come so I won't have to deal with all the holiday cheer that seems to surround me. It's December 26th and it has finally come to an end. I look forward to bringing in the new year, thank God I'm not in the place I was last year. Start your year off wrong, and that is how I started 2009, and it will be how you spend the year. I'm a living will and testament because my yr was horrible and I dealt with some of the toughest things in my life. I'm hoping to make 2010 a better year for myself, things started looking up for  me in October and they are continuously getting better. Now the only thing I have to deal with is my emotions and believe me, that is no walk in the park. Mary J. Blige named her CD Stronger With Every Tear and I'm holding her to that.

Quote of The Day: Wednesday

...tell that girl like Doritos thats Nacho Cheese... - Kanye Lollipop Remix

Song Of The Day: Natasha Bedingfield Unwritten

This song has such a postive message that lets anyone know that if there is something you want in life, YOU have to make it happen.

"Oh, she just Hatin"... Is it REALLY HATIN??

Every time someone tells you the truth, doesn't mean they are hating! The truth is the truth! Know the difference! Im sick of people hiding behind this word "HATER". Don't get it twisted there are hater's out there but not everyone who says something that you don't like or against you or the next person is a hater. Just cause someone call her new "Gucci" bag fake, don't mean they hatin, hell if the muthafucka is fake, ITS FAKE! There is a thin line but damn it, get it together. Next time you get ready to call someone a hater, really think about it, is it hating or just the damn TRUTH!

So You Mad?

I don't understand why people are so easily offended when they ask for you to give them your honest opinion about something, If you don't want to know the truth, then don't ASK!

 Lastnight I received a txt from a chick I went on a date with but I wasn't feeling her like that. This is how it went.

RandomChick: ? What is it about me that turns you off? Im just wondering so I can know how to improve myself for my miss right, please be honest.
Me: There is nothing wrong with you, just not my type ma.
RandomChick: I wasn't saying like for you, but its good, im out.
Me: "Question What about me turns YOU off? Im just wondering....." This is what you said to me, and i'll say again, there is noyhing wrong with you...
RandomChick: Of course there was no reply!

What happened here? I answered her question honestly! She wanted to know how to improve herself for her "miss right" What I didn't like about her was her height, she is too short for me and she had a low hair cut like a guy. Now she can grow her hair back, but she can't change her height soooo, that makes her NOT MY TYPE, but she could be perfect for the next chick.

Now I would like to address the statement "so i can improve myself for my miss right". Let me tell you, this is me love it or leave it. Now I understand when you are in a relationship with someone there might be certain things that you might need to change to make things work with you and your significant other but if we need to have that conversation to start out, then it obviously don't need to start.

But who am I? Im just a 23yo lesbian, looking for love and happiness......

Flashback: What If pt2

FUCKED UP

New Me: Making Changes before 2010

          

World AIDS Day

World AIDS Day was established in 1988 by The World Health Organization. It’s a little controversial but I think its a good day because we don't think of AIDS daily nor do we try to prevent them. I’m not into statistic as I have stated before but AIDS is rampant in America and we are not doing anything to protect ourselves. We are irresponsible to say the least, I think we all have it in our minds that "oh that would never happen to me" but it’s happening to people everyday just like you or me. I do not want AIDS, I’m sure you don’t either. When I got tested I was so nervous and anxious while waiting for the results to come back. For those 4 days I though about all my previous sexual encounters and most of the encounters was not monogamous relationship. It reminds me of what an ex lover of mine says. "I can be my own hoe" Meaning, I don’t know who you are fucking, I will fuck with the people who I feel are clean and if they aren't, then my whoring got me fucked up, not yours. So, who were they fucking? As I opened the envelope my hands were damn near shaking, but the results made me the happiest person on earth. Since then, I have not been making foolish decisions. We all should think with our heads and stop letting our lower regions drive us to say "fuck it" and not use protection. Its really going to come down to the point for anyone to get in my pants, I am going to require your STD test result and within a month before we can knock boots. PLEASE PEOPLE GET TESTED!

People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. --- Daria

Lady GaGa "I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME"

Lady GaGa has become my favorite performer. This chick is so EMO on stage and I love it! Born March 28, 1986 she barely slipped passed us Pisces, but she def has some of it in her. Her performance of Paparazzi on VH1 awards left me speechless. I was glued to the screen as she ended her performance with the blood and "hanging". So beautifully EMO, I only wish I could express myself the way she does. She is considered out there when it comes to her style and how she perform but me, they would lock me up in a psych ward because I don't have a stage to cover up my craziness. I loved her performance on the AMA's also, I would love to break a glass box and play a burning piano. This chick is awesome. I love her album but I have been slacking on actually following her as an artist, this will be changing. I think she is a free spirit, and I love how she gets down. Like when she made the comment about the Jonas Brothers and have them all at once. You gotta love this chick for her rebel, emo ways. Rock on Lady GaGa!

Sweet Kisses

My day started at 6:30am yesterday and by the time I pulled up at the house lastnight it was 10:10pm. I was exhaused and not in the best of moods. My phone goes off with my ex's ringtone, on the other end they little voice that makes me smile. "Hey momma, what you doin?" I had a nice lil conversation with my babygirl, she told me all she had been doing during her time out of school. When she wants to this girl can talk you to death but I didn't mind because I miss my baby. I told her I know what I am going to get for her birthday and she was so excited and begged me to tell her what it is. Her favorite color is purple so I told her it is purple and pink. (the coat above) Oh did that make her night she was satisfied with that. As we said our goodbyes she said here go you a kiss momma *mmmmmmuuuuaaaah* and I too gave her one back. She said oh momma that sounded good. I just laughed at her and told her she was silly. She gave me one last kiss and we said goodnight. My long exhausting day ended with a smile because of my babygirl.

She Is Why I Smile

Sunday's Quote Of The Day

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” - Maria Robinson

The Frog Princess: Princess Tiana

I don't know if I should say thank you Walt Disney or ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME! We finally have ourselves a black princess! Unfortunately the prince is not black but ok, whatever I guess. Princess Tiana is just in time too because my baby needs a bedroom set and I was considering going to colorful patterns because no cartoon has any black characters that I could have in her room. Now we can stop giving Dora all our $$$. When she was 4 she had a room decked out in Dora now she will be 7 and of course she has out grown Dora. Hannah Montana has been her new choice for her room she loves Hannah and she was Hannah Montana a couple Halloween's ago.

As much as I love Hannah Montana myself, I just can't have her all over my baby's room like that. Princess Tiana's merchandise is already in high demand and I can imagine she is going to be selling out during this holiday season. The Frog Princess hits theaters December 11, 2009 (She comes out November 25, 2009 in New York and Los Angeles) Blah

Song Of The Day: Katy Perry Hot & Cold

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes

Yeah, you change your mind like a girl I would know

And you always think, always speak cryptically

I should know that you're no good for me

 
I have been dealing with the hot and cold syndrome with this chick for the longest! I never know what I am going to get day to day with her. I have to approach the first encounter with her with caution everytime. It makes no sense and I understand some of her madness but at times Im like WTF is wrong with you? I have been thinking of how bipolar she is recently and today on the way to work this song came on the chorus is all that is need to sum things up.
 

'Cause you're hot and you're cold You're yes and you're no

You're in and you're out You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right You're black and it's white

We fight, we break up We hug, we make up

So here she is, I love Katy Perry! Enjoy!

                              

Thursday's Quote of the Day

"...It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Flashback: YOU DID WHAT??

"....it was ok, I really didn't like it all that much"


I sat in silence because I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Never had I imagined she would actually do something like that. I know we are women and we have certain Adamn & Eve urges, but I never thought she would have done that, after all she was a so called "hard stud" how could she? She said it happened a month ago, her girlfriend at the time thought she was going to "get fucked up" with her homeboi. I mean really, when my stud goes to hang out with her homeboys the thought that she could be cheating on me of course crosses my mind, but not with the homeboi! I laugh at it now cause really what do I need with a stud who has had dick since me?



It made me think of all the times that I have heard men offer studs $$$ to "hit that" Yes you might say WTH? Most studs look like men themselves and that shouldn't be attractive to another man but older cats do it. They know underneath the clothes there is pussy and it gets wett just like any other. The true logic behind it is they want some tight pussy and what female's pussy is tighter than a stud's other than a virgin's? 



Money can pursuade people to do things they would not do normally so I ask, how many studs are on the "dick dykin" low?

"I Can't Live Without Dick"

I have heard this so many times from my self proclaimed "lesbian" associates. I ask the question though, if you can't live without dick then how can you profess to be a lesbian and futher more how can you be in a committed relationship with another woman? No honey,you are not a lesbian you are just a sex addict who likes getting ate out.

Don't get it twisted I have nothing against bisexual females, do you boo. My problem comes in where these chicks claim to be lesbians and they really aren't. Admit you are bisexual to begin with, a stud can't be mad if you put your cards on the table. Its up to her then if she wants to fuck with you.

I had a friend once who claimed to be so into women and talked mad trash about what we call "dick dykes". She was such a hyprocrite though, having threesomes with men was I assume, a hobby as to how many she participated in. Then all of a sudden she was no longer a lesbian she was straight. Now I don't know anyone can go from lesbian to just straight unless it is a religious decision and in that case there would be no premarital sex period but thats neither here nor there. The profession to be straight again I assume was to throw off that she was indeed a dick dyke. Dibbling and dabblin back and foward. No stud wants to be feed dick, and that's what exactly what happens.

I see this alot but the body wants what the body wants. Even though a man surely can eat you out just as a female (and thats what men only see it as)but any female that has had the opportunity to lay down with female knows its so much more than an "eating out".

Not that anyone cares but thats my thoughs on chicks that claim lesbian but always holla "I Can't Live Without Dick"

Wednesday's Quote Of The Day

"I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong and compassionate." - Rita Mae Brown

Song Of The Day: Superwoman Alicia Keys

This morning I was having a conversation that lead me to Superwoman. We all know the many scenario's that we as woman have to put that S on our chest. We do it daily and we have been doing it for years. I'm not male bashing cause I'm not that kind of lady, but I will say; we can do it, with or without you. The choice is yours. As women and mothers we fight for whats best for our children and we fight to give the best of the best. Its sad to say that our men fall short of helping us meet this goal of the best.

Everywhere I'm turning Nothing seems complete

I stand up and I'm searching For the better part of me

I hang my head from sorrow state of humanity

I wear it on my shoulders, Gotta find the strength in me

I grew up in a single parent home, well for the most part. Dad disappeared at 9 and my mother raised me and my brother solo. I love my mom she was my first example of Superwoman, she did everything she could for me and my brother not once did we go without. She has always worked 2 jobs my whole life to support me and my brother and for that I love and respect her. I myself am "daddy" to my little girl. I am the only daddy she has every known and the only one she will know. I stepped up to the plate when she was 3 and became that "father" figure in her life. No I'm not a man but she knows (as a father would) I take care of business.

Cause I am a Superwoman

 Yes I am Yes she is

Even when I'm a mess; I still put on a vest

With an S on my chest

Oh yes I'm a Superwoman

 So to all the Superwomen out there this is to you! We gone make it do what it do!

Tuesday Quote Of The Day

"No one said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." - Unknown

Let Me Introduce You To Karma

I think most will describe Karma as a bitch, period. That she is but she isn't always that way, only when provoked and unfortunately she is provoked often. I'm sure you have meet her, maybe it was her good side or her bad side but its undoubtedly certain you have crossed paths before. Let me explain to you her characteristics and she is a simple bitch to understand. You shall reap what you sew. Simply put, for the good things you do in life, you will be rewarded, for the bad things you do, you will pay for them. When doing good, don't do it for the reward though. That's not how it works, it has to be genuine and from the heart. When doing bad, don't for a moment think you have got away with something because "pay back" don't happen right away. Oh no, Karma takes her time with these things. When least expected she shows up and takes care of business. Sometimes leaving us thinking "what did I do to deserve this". I'm sure if you think hard enough you'll figure it out, Karma don't make mistakes.

So the next time you are presented with an opportunity to do good, do it with a smile or the next time you are tempted to do something bad, think twice about it...its up to you how u meet her but most of the time Karma is a bitch.

ANTOINETTE

A is for Amazing

N is for Neat

T is for Tender

O is for Optimistic

I is for Inspirational

N is for Natural

E is for Enlightened

T is for Tasty

T is for Trendy

E is for Enthusiastic 

Death to Antoinette Nicole Davis

How could a mother sale her child as a sex slave? What is our world coming to? Fuck a trial send that bitch to stand infront of a firing squad! There are alot of awful things one can do in there lifetime but any crime against a defenseless child is by far the worst thing imaginable. When this story first came out it was very vague as to what had happened. The mother (Antoinette Davis) is being charged with trafficing and prostituting her child. Lastnight as I watched the news, there were search crews searching the woods for the little girl. Obvisouly they thought she was dead and would not be found alive. There is footage of her dad pleading for her return, he had only let the child (Shaniya) live with her mother for a month, to see if she could be the mother the little girl needed. I know he regrets this decision more than anything and it will without a doubt haunt him for the rest of his life.

They found her body today, read here: (CNN) -- The body of a missing 5-year-old girl has been found in North Carolina, police said Monday.

My Love

Can I be the only one you love?

Our life together so special, sent from above

U are the light in my life

Remembering our love, wishing you were my wife

Today goes by, another day without you here

No one else can take away all my fear

Eternity without you I cannot bare

You are my only true love, I wish you were there

Day in day out you are on my mind
Everyday I wish to turn back the hands of time
Now I wish to wake up to your beautiful face
I now wish for your loving embrace
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
Enduring the pain, yes it makes me weep

Sometimes I try to smile through the pain
My life without you seems in vain
In the end it has been a lesson learned
Today my heart still yearns
Hoping you will see this love we've earned

Unwanted Guest

Yesterday I found out my aunt is coming to town. Just the thought of her arrival annoys me. I really hate that she has so much control over my emotions I mean really, I am already an emotional basketcase as it is! Every time she comes I can within seconds go from happy to sad to depressed to crying. I really wish she wouldn't come because believe, me she is never welcomed. Do you think she cares though? Haha, nope she don't! There is one way to get rid of her but that would be taking a piece of me that I am not ready to give up yet so I deal with her invasive visits. One day I understand she will stop dropping in on me but when she does, she will replace her presence with something that might be worse than her visits. So here I am awating her arrival, I'm emotional and wish her departure to be soon....
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Rihanna & Chris Brown

With the new release of Chris Brown's song "Crawl" and Rihanna's interview with Diane Sawyer, decided to weigh in on the both of them.

Rihanna

 Its sad that she had to go through what she endured and violence is never he key but we were not there. I believe her lil feisty ass was not just a helpless victim. No she didn't deserve her ass wooping but sometimes men can only take so much (hits frm women that is). Then they...Snap. I don't know why she waited so long to "speak on it" some say because her album is coming out but I don't think that kind of publicity will help sell her album. I love Rihanna and would buy her music regardless. She has been acting a lil strange out and about since the incident. What I believe though is that the girl was in love, beat or not, it takes strange things to get over relationships where the love is true and real. What can I say though? She is such a beautiful girl with her own style flair and funk. I love her accent and she is just sexy period.

Chris Brown

Ole' Chris, he has had it rough since he snapped and beat Rihanna's ass. I believe he had a responsibility as a celebrity to apologize for his behavior but one time was enough! I truly believe he was sorry for his actions and I wont say he is young and all that other crap. He was wrong but we all make mistakes. With all the negative publicity this has brought him, he really should have learned his lesson. Now it seems as if he is love sick with this new song Crawl. The lyrics are beautiful and its clear its directed at Rihanna Anyway, I don't like the look with the glasses anymore than than the pink chef coat or the blue bow tie. The best songs are definely about true experiences in peoples lives, we feel their pain more and know its real. He really loves the girl thats my opinion.

My Music: Song of the Day Kenny Lattimore For You

The Wedding Song
Today watching the music channel this song came on. Instantly I had flashbacks of weddings that I have attended. Its classic and such a beautiful song I see why people love having it played at their weddings. Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with standing in front of the alter all starry eyed. I assume its a magical moment. 

For you I'd make a promise of fidelity, now and for eternity

No one could replace this vow

For you I'd take your hand and heart and everything and add to them a

wedding ring

'Cause this life is no good alone, since we've become one you're all I know

And if this feeling should leave I'd die and here's why

All I am is for you

Barf!!!!  I believe in love but this song just keeps me in a fairytale... The verse above, hmmm really? "For you I'd make a promise of fidelity..." That line alone is, is... *something*. Maybe I'm just being bitter cause I haven't been so lucky in love but most marriages end in divorce anyway. I will tell you that the divorce rate is down though....guess why? Because of the recession! People have no choice but to stay together in loveless marriages. I would go quote stats but we all know its true. 


By all means, enjoy the song though, it is beautiful......

The Many Faces of Me

Flashback: What If

I remember when it was actually real and I felt that something was there. I loved being with her, I loved the way she made me feel. It was built on lies and deceit but that didn't mean it wasn't real, to me at least.. It was suppose to be only a fuck but I felt so much more. I had a secret though, one that would (and did) ruin it before it truly got started. It was a betrayal but it happened prior to us being together so I didn't have any loyalty to her. That didn't matter though whatever we could possibly have had was ruined. She was everything I wanted in a stud though, and its hard to explain but it was there in her. I remember the first time being with her, Feb 13th 2008, 11pm on into the wee hours of the morning, (yes I remember the day and time)my first Valentines present for the day. I've spent my time trying to get back to those moments "in the beginning" with her but it just seems as if it's not going to happen for many different reason but my feelings for her are real. I don't love her but I do care. Will she always be my What If?

She Is My Stud

She is my stud

Her touch makes me flood

Another can't make me feel the way she does

Not one time have I forgot how good it was

Every time I'm with her, I feel safe

Killing me softly with her sweet embrace

Inside me is where I want her to be

Another day without her; another day in heat

Do What You Say You Will Do

I am extremely frustrated right now. If I ask you to do something and you do not want to do it, simply say NO!  Why do people always agree to do things they don't want to? Is it to preserve a friendship or you just can't say no to just say people? I hope not to preserve a friendship cause really when you don't go through on the agreement the friendship is definitely out the window. Its a waste of my time! Do what you say you will do,after all; ITS YOUR WORD! Is that too much to ask??

My Music: Songs of the Day Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love & Better In Time

My Emo side is coming out with these songs....Who am I kidding? LOL My Emo self shows throughout this blog!! Anyway, I love Leona Lewis' two songs Bleeding Love and Better In Time.

Bleeding Love
When I first heard this song it helped me through one of the darkest and toughest times I was going through with my girlfriend at the time. Everything she said in this song was exactly how I was feeling. The video was on point too just in general. I love to watch it to this day. To have truly loved and lost really does feeling like you are bleeding from deep within. My favorite part in the song is below This is how i felt at the time, love at all cost. 

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing

You cut me open

And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love

Better In Time

Listening to 93.3 Kiss lately and they play this song alot. Once again I love this song, its what I have been dealing with lately. Learning to let go of the past and move on to a brighter future. Things have been hard but learning from my mistakes. Time is doing its healing job but it takes just that: TIME. My favorite part of this song is all of it. If I had to chose though this would be it

Since there's no more you and me

It's time I let you go so I can be free

And live my life how it should be 

No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you

Yes I will

RACISM AND OUR PRESIDENT: FUCKERY

Happy Birthday: @core_APPLER

Happy 25th Birthday, Ray! You are the best and I heart you! I thought about mailing myself to you and jumping out of a box with a playboy bunny outfit on but I don't have your address!!! Four score and 3twitter years ago (6/7 months really) I became mesmerized by the shinny red apple behind NYC, and the rest is history. LOL You are my best bud, and no we haven't meet but you know we are -------><-------here. Anyway, I wish you the best on your special day!!! Party like a rockstar baby!

ALL THESE ARE SO TRUE!

To caress her & make her moan in itself is a turn one

Her body speaks to me as her flower unfolds 

Lips to lips so soft she feels

The taste of her so sticky and sweet

Her lava erupts from the passion and heat

Nothing sweeter than the river that flows

The passion of the kiss reach deep in her soul   

My Music: Beyonce as Etta James "I'd Rather Go Blind"

We all know Beyonce is not the best actress in the world but in Cadillac Records she did exceptionally well in the role of Etta James. Being in the music industry im sure she was able to put the more believable spin on her performance. I feel in love with the song I'd Rather Go Blind and the scene to go along with it in the move. No, I haven't listened to the Etta James version and I give her all the credit due for the song but I didn't grown up during her era and this was my first time hearing it. I remember turning the part back over and over again. I can relate to the words in the song now, but then I just love the emotion Beyonce was able to put behind the song. I felt the love she had for him and I was put right there in the moment with her. Watch.

NOVEMBER!

Daylights savings time is kicking my ass! It gets dark so quick i really hate it! This happens every year so I don't know why I complain everytime but I think most people can't stand when the time "falls back" Anyway, November is here and that means the holidays are right around the corner. In other words $$$$. Turkey day will be here before we know it and ohh how I love turkey day! LOL I might be a vegetarian but my family makes accommodation for me and I love see my aunts, uncles and cousins, ya know, the immediate family.Unfortunately, I wont be making it home for Thanksgiving :-( but it's all good there will be other times. I'm not making it for Christmas either as I think about it. What I can say thought is December is going to break ME! My mom's b-day is in December and babygirl's bday is 1week before Christmas!! Sooo yeah, I will be BROKE! I love buying her gifts for her birthday and Christmas just to see the smile on her face as she opens the presents. I won't be seeing it this year, but I know she is going to be excited. Anyway, I can't wait for 2009 to end and ring in 2010! I know I might be rushing things but 2010 is for changes in my life and they have already begun............

MyHotComments

My Journey: The Move

Oct. 4th I packed up my car and I headed north. I have always wanted to be successful and I was at a dead end in my present life. I graduated high school when I was 17, I started college and got my Associates Degree in Business. My first job was at a KFC and I have been able to work my way up the corporate ladder and that I have always been proud of. Each job better with a better pay.

The 6months leading up to that day I felt lost with no one to turn to. This was the first time in my life where I didn't feel like I was making progress. If anything, I was beginning to settle for mediocrity and that is not me. I was beginning to be satisfied with being miserable. I had in my mind that things would get better or work themselves out. For any "go getta" in life, you know this is not the case.

I began to see why people never achieve their goals in life. I'm an emotional person and if I continued down that road, my emotions would have overcome me. Flash Forward I saw myself 45yrs old still in my mother's house. My only company the cat Goldie, just like a lil old lady. (I'm watching Flash Forward lol)

I don't want to be that person who had so much potential in life and let it slip away, I'm NOT going to be that person. A month later and things are looking up. I am progressing like I have been all my life. It feels good to be back on the right path. I don't know about anyone else but failure is not an option for me.

My Music: Song of the Day Khandi Dont Think Im Not

Why do people always think they are getting over when cheating? Most of the time if you are stepping out, its a pretty fair assumption that your mate is too. Some people step out because they're not satisfied in the bed, or just because they feel like they can get away with it. I believe that some truly forget that two can play that game is not just the title of a movie. I was going through my itunes library and I ran across Kandi's (former Xscape member, current Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member) Don't Think I'm Not.

My favorite part in the song:

When you're feeling good in somebody's spot, getting hot, don't stop Just don't think I'm not, cause I'm out getting mine

Something to think about next time you feel like cheating. Johnnie Taylor said it best, "Who's making love to your old lady, while you were out making love?"

Kandi-Don't Think I'm Not Uploaded by Landru69. -

Movie Title of My Life: Pursuit Of Happiness

Love and Success

Im pretty sure everyone wants to be happy in life, but what really makes one happy? We all have an idea of what would make us happy, but do we really know if that idea of happiness is true? I will go ahead and be honest, I am a helpless romantic. I believe in love at all cost. Why? I'm not sure I haven't had the best luck with love but i feel that love makes things better. As far as success, at 23 yrs old, I don't think I am doing to bad for myself. No I dont have what I want in life, but who does at my age? I don't want anything handed to me in life either. Success in life has to be he most fulfilling experience. With success comes money but what good is money? You can't buy love so money is no good without genuine love. I want someone who will love me now, struggle with me now, and gain success with me. This is my pursuit of happiness.

"I Miss You"

I remember the first day I meet her, she ran down the hall to my dorm room. 3yrs old, kinky twist in pig tales, big cheeks, and beautiful eyes. I didn't have to ask who she was, she looked like a little version of her mother. I couldn't help but love this child like my own, she was rambunctious, feisty, and a force to be reckoned with.

She always called me by my first name and that was fine with me. I remember the first time she called me momma like it was yesterday. I was in the kitchen preparing her lunch, she came in and said "momma, is it ready?" That melted my heart and from that day forward, she has called me momma. Me and her mother had been together about 7months at that time, and of her own free will began to call me momma. It made me feel good that she looked to me as someone who supported her and loved her.

I spoke to her this morning as she got ready to go to school. As our conversation was coming to an end, I was about to say "I love you, have a good day at school", but before I could she said, "Momma, I miss you". Those words were like therapy to me, the innocent love of a child. I always tell her I miss you, and she always says, I miss you too, but for her to initiates the I miss you made me feel her love miles away.

No I didn't lay down and make her, no I didn't carry her 9 months, no I didn't change her diaper and no I didn't potty train her but she still calls me momma....

My Music:Song Of The Day Heather Headley In My Mind

I was watching re-runs of The Game on BET. The Sabers were away at the championship game, Derwin was injured and couldn't attend. His girl Janay attended the game of course, she couldn't miss out on the glitz and glam of being a Sabers' girlfriend. Melanie and her boyfriend at the time were hosting a Sabers Game Day Party. Derwin was out shopping (on crutches) and Melanie ran out to get some more salsa for the party. They meet in the store for the first time since Melanie chopped her hair off. In the background played In My Mind softly as they talked. The very next scene Melanie is at Derwin's door he opens it and they began kissing passionately In My Mind is playing loud now as they make out.

In my mind, I'll always be his lady.

In my mind, I'll always be his girl.

Melanie and Derwin were both in relationship with other people. Im sure in those moments of that kiss, they felt like they still belonged right there in that place. It didn't take long though for reality to set in when Melanie's cellphone goes off the ringtone for her significant other. It made me think that there are alot of things in our minds but the reality of the situation is totally opposite. We can dream though can't we? Heather Headley - In My Mind (Official Music Video) - A funny movie is a click away

My Music: Bag Lady Erykah Badu - "Who wants that?"

"...bag lady, you gone miss your bus, You can't hurry up, Cause you got too much stuff. When they see you comin, They just take of runnin, From you, it's true, oh yes they do..."

Its such a good metaphor the baggage that women or men carry from one relationship to another. The bag lady with all her different types of baggage whether its garbage bag, baby bag, etc.

I was 14 when this song came out. I didn't know what the hell Erykah was sing about nor did I care back then, i just loved the song. It was catchy. 9yrs later and I know exactly what she was talking about. It had been a minute since I heard this song, and prior to now I still may not have gotten it.

I had a late night conversation with a friend.. me all boo hoo and teary eyed. She said "who wants that?" A few days later I heard Bag Lady by chance and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"...One day all them bags gone get in your way, One day all them bags gone get in your way...SO PACK LIGHT"

Its hard to shake some of the things you feel or what you have been through in past relationships. I assume for some it takes more time to let go of the "bags". Im learning that instead of holding on, take what you need to do better in the next relationship and leave those bags behind.

My Music: Motivation T.I. - NO EXPLANATION NEEDED

Better get on yo job, tell'em, haters get on yo job, nigga (Motivation)

Nigga, get on yo job, tell'em, haters get on yo job, nigga (Motivation)

Haters better get on yo job, tell'em, haters get on yo job, nigga (It's motivation)

Sucka nigga, get on yo job, if ya, hatin' get on yo job, nigga

You can look me in my eyes, see I'm ready for whatever

Anythang don't kill me, make me better

I ain't dead nigga, you can take the fame and the chedda

And the game, and the deal, I'm still a go-getter

Take my freedom for the moment but it ain't fo-ever

I got the spirit of a god, heart of a dope dealer

I'm a king, seen hangin' with some cold killas

I ain't never back down or ran from no nigga

I ain't sat down yet, pimp, standin' gorilla

Even if I'ma all alone or standin' with four niggaz

Tell'em jump, pimpin' it don't get no realer

5'9" with the soul of a 6'4" nigga

I separated the fakes, paralized from the waist down

From the real stand up guys of the A-Town

Can't even look me in my eyes, put yo face down

I'm outta jail nigga, whachu gotta say now?

Motivation

Niggaz fakin' only gonna inspire (Motivation)

All yo hatin' is fuel to my fire (It's motivation)

Niggaz plottin' on the crown soft droppin' (It's motivation)

Hey but I ain't slowin' down and I ain't stoppin' (Motivation)

Now nigga don't stop my show (Motivation)

You ain't know I don't stop, I go (It's motivation)

Sucka niggaz can't make me suffer

Just make me stronger and make me tougher (It's motivation)

To be locked in a box niggaz happy to see

Put anybody on top, any rapper but T, I, P

But back to reality G, O.D. still carryin' me, nigga I run this

Spread yo rumours, kick all yo lil' dumb shit

Tell lies, laugh 'bout the time that I'm gon' get

If it make you feel better, picture me over and done with

Punk bitch, come with all the gossip you can come with

Small thang to a giant, I can overcome this

Jail, I don' done this, rap I'm just havin' fun with

I could be a local joker, never have one hit

Nigga, "New Finish" alone'll get me dumb rich

While these rappers sellin' records gettin' pennies

If Grand Hustle sell any, I'ma get plenty

If God with me, who could be against me sucka?

Can't make me suffer, just make me tougher

My Music: Song of the Day

When I was about 12 or 13 I went through a country music stage. Something about country music moves me. A lot of the songs tells a story that you can relate to and stir up emotions or feelings from your own personal experiences. My musical song of the day is Deana Carter's Strawberry Wine. First love and loosing your virginity and all... I can't say my first time was like strawberry wine but I was definitely 17.

I see colors.. ROYGBIV

Did I choose to be with her or is it genetics? Early on I would have said it was a choice, but now I cant be so sure. My brother likes boys, I like girls, same parents. That tells me that there is more to it than a choice that I made. I was 19 when I was first with a female but I remember glancing at females inappropriately since I was about 7. I never thought I was a Lesbian just though it was normal. I never thought I would go down that road but I'm open minded and a free spirit. I have a moto: I will try almost anything once, if I like it I continue to do it, if not then I can always stop. I have lived by that my entire life and it hasn't done me wrong so far. With that being said, it was no big deal for me to turn to a woman, it only took alot of alcohol for the night. I never regretted my decision and I cant see myself without women. I prefer being with a woman sexually because it's enlightening and passionate. I love the way she explores my body, and I love to explore her body. I love to feel her body against mine, the many ways to please, the hours of passion. There is nothing that matches this feeling and its one I'm not willing to give up. Men have nothing to do with my decision. People like to say, "what, men were not treating you right?". Let me clear up that ridiculous excuse for being a lesbian. If that is the case I wouldn't be a lesbian or straight I'd be celibate. Trust, love, and commitment are 3 words that are universal in relationships, period. So whether its heterosexual or homosexual relations you are having, those 3 words are important, they either make or break the relationship.