Flashback: What If pt2

FUCKED UP

Flashback: YOU DID WHAT??

"....it was ok, I really didn't like it all that much"


I sat in silence because I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Never had I imagined she would actually do something like that. I know we are women and we have certain Adamn & Eve urges, but I never thought she would have done that, after all she was a so called "hard stud" how could she? She said it happened a month ago, her girlfriend at the time thought she was going to "get fucked up" with her homeboi. I mean really, when my stud goes to hang out with her homeboys the thought that she could be cheating on me of course crosses my mind, but not with the homeboi! I laugh at it now cause really what do I need with a stud who has had dick since me?



It made me think of all the times that I have heard men offer studs $$$ to "hit that" Yes you might say WTH? Most studs look like men themselves and that shouldn't be attractive to another man but older cats do it. They know underneath the clothes there is pussy and it gets wett just like any other. The true logic behind it is they want some tight pussy and what female's pussy is tighter than a stud's other than a virgin's? 



Money can pursuade people to do things they would not do normally so I ask, how many studs are on the "dick dykin" low?

Flashback: What If

I remember when it was actually real and I felt that something was there. I loved being with her, I loved the way she made me feel. It was built on lies and deceit but that didn't mean it wasn't real, to me at least.. It was suppose to be only a fuck but I felt so much more. I had a secret though, one that would (and did) ruin it before it truly got started. It was a betrayal but it happened prior to us being together so I didn't have any loyalty to her. That didn't matter though whatever we could possibly have had was ruined. She was everything I wanted in a stud though, and its hard to explain but it was there in her. I remember the first time being with her, Feb 13th 2008, 11pm on into the wee hours of the morning, (yes I remember the day and time)my first Valentines present for the day. I've spent my time trying to get back to those moments "in the beginning" with her but it just seems as if it's not going to happen for many different reason but my feelings for her are real. I don't love her but I do care. Will she always be my What If?

"I Miss You"

I remember the first day I meet her, she ran down the hall to my dorm room. 3yrs old, kinky twist in pig tales, big cheeks, and beautiful eyes. I didn't have to ask who she was, she looked like a little version of her mother. I couldn't help but love this child like my own, she was rambunctious, feisty, and a force to be reckoned with.

She always called me by my first name and that was fine with me. I remember the first time she called me momma like it was yesterday. I was in the kitchen preparing her lunch, she came in and said "momma, is it ready?" That melted my heart and from that day forward, she has called me momma. Me and her mother had been together about 7months at that time, and of her own free will began to call me momma. It made me feel good that she looked to me as someone who supported her and loved her.

I spoke to her this morning as she got ready to go to school. As our conversation was coming to an end, I was about to say "I love you, have a good day at school", but before I could she said, "Momma, I miss you". Those words were like therapy to me, the innocent love of a child. I always tell her I miss you, and she always says, I miss you too, but for her to initiates the I miss you made me feel her love miles away.

No I didn't lay down and make her, no I didn't carry her 9 months, no I didn't change her diaper and no I didn't potty train her but she still calls me momma....